ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
