good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
