pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
