Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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