Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
