Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need help removing her.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
