So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
