Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
