Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
