I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
