fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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