It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
