5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you didnt know i had herpes?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
