@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
