By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
