I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
