You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
