It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
