how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
