Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize