what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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