Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
