Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
