it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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