Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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