need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
