Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
