i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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