yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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