i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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