the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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