Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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