so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
