try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
