pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
