I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
