You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize