Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
