just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i think i just lost a toe
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
