Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
