if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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