when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
