my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
