are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
