im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
