so that wasnt chicken after all
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
