we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
