I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
