every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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