Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
