GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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