I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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