Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
