you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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