He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
