so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
