youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
