i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
