I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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