the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
