that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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