We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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