he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
